On Values and What Is Right

The world right now is a world of uncertainty, especially here on the bit of soil we call America.  There is finger pointing, there is a blame game, and there is a government (not one side or the other of the government, but the ENTIRE government) playing politics and being ridiculous while the American people suffer.  There are children shooting each other in school and adults shooting each other almost everywhere.

There are people who make vows to one another and then simply leave when the going gets tough.  And no, I'm not saying there is anything simple about separating from a spouse.  But we live in a world where a PROMISE really just means "I promise to love you while its convenient and easy.  Unless it gets hard.  Then I'm done." 

There are people who spend the few hours they have with their kids with electronics in front of their face instead of listening, REALLY listening to what their kids have to say.  Our children can be empowered when we give them a voice and actually LISTEN to what they are saying.

I'm blown away lately by the nastiness that is floating around in the world. . . from partisan rants to vitriol among people that should be friends. It leaves you with a yucky feeling.

So do yourself a favor.  Smile.  Say something nice to someone.   Listen when your children speak.  Turn off the TV and have dinner as a family. Let your children know that their opinions and thoughts matter.  Model how they should treat people by how YOU treat people.

Our world is broken, and sad, and sorry right now. But it doesn't have to be that way.  Even though we are each single people, we can change our little corner of the world.  We can change it for our children.  We can change it for our friends.  Bad things will happen, but we can approach them with grace and show that strength is beautiful.  We can revel in the simple beauty of the day.  We can find wonder in the simpler things in life.

We had a great yoga class a few weeks back about keeping steady in times of uncertainty.  Going back to basics is a great way to do this.  Our foundations, our roots are what keep us strong.  What is your foundation?  What are your strengths?  Think of those things as you move through your day. 

Take a step back. Unplug.  Do something kind.  Say a kind word to someone you don't know.  When you make a promise, keep it.  And when there are people in your life who don't do these things, let them go, because they don't add any value to your life.  Our days on Earth are numbered . . . we are each only here for so long.  Don't kid yourself that what you do DOESN'T impact someone.  Because it can.  And it probably does.  Live a life you can be proud of.

Celebrate (And a giveaway)

Part of me is incredibly sad that it is September.  My daughter is turning five in a few short weeks and that just seems too old.  Between that and the fact that she started preschool a few weeks ago, its clear she isn't a baby anymore.

But they are so, SO many things to celebrate right now.   Sometimes, when you celebrate your victories, people are quick to judge.  They might think that you are bragging.  Or that you think you are better than them.  Or perhaps you may not feel you have something to celebrate.  You may think that your accomplishments mean less because you didn't do as much/run as far/run as fast/insert-unfair-comparison-of-your-chosing here. 

FORGET about the comparison.  Own your own story.  CELEBRATE those victories.

Things we are celebrating in our house this week:

-I didn't kill anyone during our first week of homeschooling--Yay! And the kids seemed relatively happy.

-Brad and I managed to slide away for a bike ride together.  It was nice to sweat together, its been awhile since we did that.  And I won't mention how he easily kept up with me on his mountain bike, when he hasn't been on it ALL summer . . . because that would be a comparison and that's what we AREN'T doing.  (But I will say DARN HIM for being so speedy!!)  And we are doing our first tri together next weekend!

-I logged a ton of bike miles over the long weekend -- 73!

-First double digit run is in the books for the fall distance season.  It wasn't fast and it wasn't pretty, but its done and its all mine and I will celebrate it!  Its also worth noting that for the first 10+ run of the season, I was in a happy headspace based from all the things I've learned in the past year.  Mind > Matter always seems to factor in on the long run.

-Still on cloud nine about being chosen as a Team Tough Chik ambassador.  I love my team, and what I've learned about myself since joining them. 

-We reached 200 followers on our facebook page.

-I'm two months out from my first International Distance Triathlon.  Instead of being scared to death ALL THE TIME, I oscillate between being scared to death and being stoked because I know I could COMPLETE it today if I had to.  So that's something. 

Those are the big things.  As a family, we have little celebrations all the time.  Yay, we made it through that lesson without any complaints!  Yay, we made it to school on time!  Etc. etc. etc.

The point is, don't be afraid to celebrate things.  No matter how big or how small, each and EVERY victory is worth celebrating. Because it is a part of your story.

Which brings me to the fun part of this post.  I'm notorious for comparing myself to others. Heck, I even did it in this post by stating hubby was just as fast as me on his mountain bike.  I often feel like I'm slower than I should be, bigger than I should be, weaker than I should be, etc. etc. etc.

But, as Roosevelt said, "Comparison is the thief of joy."  I love this quote.  I say it to myself whenever I find myself getting wrapped up in the "I should be faster/stronger/thinner/blah blah blah" warp.  A few weeks ago a fellow Tough Chik posted a link to a leather bracelet that has a metal plate with this saying on it from Michelle V Custom Jewelery on Etsy.  I'm not a big fan of leather and I'm not much of a jewelry wearer, but I had to have one.

I love this thing.  Its original and beautiful and every time I look at it, it reminds me to be proud of where I am and how far I've come.  It reminds me to celebrate every small victory.  So I want you to have one too!!   We're giving away one Comparison Is the Thief of Joy custom leather cuff bracelet from Michelle V Custom Jewelery. (Mine is pictured below with my RoadID slim)

You can earn an entries in the following ways:
-Like Michelle V's Facebook Page (2 entries)
-Like Michelle V's Page on Etsy (2 entries)
-Follow Life Beyond the Chaos on Twitter (1 entry)
-Follow Life Beyond the Chaos of Facebook (1 entry)
- Link up this giveaway on your facebook page, twitter page, or blog (2 entries EACH)
-Post a comment below letting me know what YOU are celebrating this week/weekend (1 entry) and also let me know how many entries you have in total.

If you just can't wait, or you find something else you love in Michelle V's Etsy store, she has generously offered the coupon code LIFEBEYOND2259, good for 20% off to Life Beyond the Chaos readers.  Happy shopping--I must say I love her stuff :-)


This giveaway will be open from now until 9:30am, Friday September 13th.  At that time, Random Number Generator will be used to chose a winner.


Good luck!!

Sisterhood

As I mentioned on Monday, I never really felt like I fit in the "crowd" in high school.  I had one truly good friend, Sandra, who was the closest thing to a sister I had as an almost-only-child (I have a half brother, but he is over a decade younger than me).  But my childhood was a fairly lonely one.  I had many cousins who were older than me.  Lonely.

Motherhood brought a common threads and some great friends, but I didn't really find my inner self until I joined Team Tough Chik in the middle of last year.  Suddenly, I found a sisterhood of people as crazy as I am.  I realized many of the insecurities that I thought were mine alone were shared with women of all shapes and sizes.  Women who had reached incredible physical goals.  It was because of that team that I really began to find myself.  And as I posted on Monday, it is a place where I always feel empowered, and never feel judged.  No one will laugh at me if I have a bad workout day, and everyone there understands the obsession.  I don't have to explain to these women that I'd rather go to bed early than go out and have a good time. 

This summer Tough Chik announced they would have an ambassador program.  I'm totally stoked that I was among one of the ten awesome Team Tough Chik members chosen. 

Because Tough Chik is so much more than a brand.  Its a mantra, a way of life . . . its remembering that what we are, AS we are, is enough.  THIS IS WHAT TOUGH LOOKS LIKE.  Its not "This is what tough looks like with ten extra pounds," or "This is what tough looks like, except I didn't have time to put makeup on."  Its an absolute.  You, as you are now, is exactly what tough looks like.  You may not be perfect, but you are you, and that is exactly what you should be.  THIS IS WHAT TOUGH LOOKS LIKE.  So, yeah, BEYOND excited to have a hand in spreading that kind of movement into the world. Because you can't beat sisterhood.

The Road You Take

Source

Have you ever started something new and been SO overwhelmed by people telling you what you are doing wrong that you tend to lose the joy (or never even FIND the joy) in what you are doing?

Sometimes we feel so passionately about things that in our over-eagerness to help others, we end up cramming our opinions down their throat and turning them off to something exciting.  Sometimes we can make others feel judged because they do not choose the same road that we do.  Don't let someone take away the joy in something that is working for you, or that you love, because they don't agree with it or they feel the need to push their opinion on you.

If you want to be a vegetarian, DO IT.
If you want to go paleo, DO IT.
If you want to train for an ironman, or a marathon, or an ultra, DO IT.

Make informed decisions about your life, and don't let fear of anyone's opinions shape your own road. 

And as you do it, be sure you surround yourself with people who will lift you up instead of putting you down.  Because the reality is that when you make big changes in your life, there will be haters.  People who are jealous because you are doing what they can't (or won't).  People who feel threatened by your new-found confidence and knowledge.  If your friends don't support you, its possible they aren't that good of friends. 

Source

When I was growing up, I was a conformist . . . I was always SO worried about fitting in that I would do what others did just so I (the short, overweight girl with the divorced parents) would not stick out more than I already did.  I literally did not find my own road until a few years ago.  In the past couple of years, I have been surprised to have a few people I considered good friends turn spiteful and negative toward me.  It was unexpected and a bit shocking.  Because of the way I train.  Because of what I chose to eat.


So be careful before you judge someone on a different road.  Unless you've walked in their shoes, you don't know their journey.  Don't judge them, and maybe, just MAYBE they won't judge you.   Because there is no better friend than the one you can tell anything to, without the fear of being judged.

Rock on, friends, and happy Monday.

Less is more

As we get ready to start the 2013-2014 school year, I'm subscribing to the idea that LESS in life is a good thing.  We've spent the better part of this week going through the too-much-stuff we own and weeding it out.  Organizing.  Cleaning.

We live in a society of excess--we like to have too much stuff.  I've been intrigued by the idea of minimalist living (Simple Mom, anyone?), but we hardly live a minimalist life.  It was a cathartic process this week to weed out the things that our household does not need, organize what we have, and get the house ready for what is sure to be a crazy end of year.  Because balancing 2 work schedules, two crazy training schedules, a child in preschool and a child doing virtual school from home is going to require a home that is easy to pick up at the end of a crazy day.

I've been stuck on philosophies lately.  There are so many simple phrases that can help keep your life full and enjoyable.  Remembering to find the joy is one of those philosophies.  The idea of LESS IS MORE is certainly another. Its a philosophy that we can improve our lives with--not just our every day grind, but also our training. 

Of course, less is more when it comes to our things.  If we have too many things, we become overwhelmed by how much there is.  We tend to use what we have less, and therefore enjoy it less.  Who HASN'T been overwhelmed by the huge stacks of stuff in their house that needs to be organized/cleaned/put away/etc. etc. etc.  

When it comes to running, we always want to be the fastest, but we need to remember that sometimes slowing down and simply enjoying the run is important.  Remember its not ALWAYS about how far you go, or how fast.  

• Occasionally, its okay to leave the GPS at home and just go for the joy of it.   LESS IS MORE.
• Sometimes, its okay to miss your distance goal, if it means you are listening to your body.  Yes, running is mind over matter, but you have to listen to what your body is telling you.  Listening can mean the difference between an injury with a long recovery period and just having a mediocre run.  LESS IS MORE.
• The long run is about building the slow twitch muscles fibers that allow your body to go the distance.  If you try to run fast while doing it, it sort of defeats the purpose.  LESS IS MORE.

Less can sometimes be more.  In toys.  In runnning.  In life.

Finding the Joy

Part of the reason I **really** enjoy going to yoga is because I like the life lessons that yoga teaches you.  One of the things that yoga teaches is to be present in the moment.  As a society, we spend so much time looking forward and looking back, but we don't spend enough just being where we are. Things are always messy and chaotic in our house, with the kids and their schedules, the dogs, and my work.  But I know all too well that these moments are fleeting, and that it won't be long until my babies are no longer babies.  They will be grown, and I won't get this moment right now back.  So I try to be present in the moment, and enjoy it, even when my seven year old is trying to tape his sister's mouth shut with electrical tape. :-)

We've been discussing the lines of the Anusara Invocation in our Tuesday night class.  Last week we discussed Ananda, which is a part of the Anusara invocation . . . sat-chit-ananda or, in Sanskrit:

 (You know, just in case you read sanskrit!)

Ananda means JOY.  BLISS.  Yoga is not about being bendy or being able to contort your body in "bendy" ways.  Yoga is about reminding us to find the joy.  Even when sometimes you aren't feeling joyful.  Its hard to feel joyful when you are running late, there is food caked on the floor, and your children are fighting with each other.  But there are reasons to be joyful.  You have somewhere to go where people will miss you if you aren't there.  There's food to eat.  And while they fight, you still know your children love you and each other.

So, in the craziness of life, take a moment.  Pause.  And find the joy in the moment.  Its easy to love your life when everything is going perfectly.  But life is hardly ever REALLY like that.  Its finding the joy and humor in the imperfections and chaos that truly makes life worth living.

I enjoy yoga because otherwise, I would never have realized that all those funny squiggles could teach me so much about about life.